Birth mother’s choice unites the love of two families

The circumstances 15-year-old Amajha Slade was facing made it impossible for her to see the bright future that lay ahead. Amajha was unexpectedly pregnant. At the time, the uncertainty and choices in front of her were overwhelming.

“It was shocking not really knowing exactly what to do or how everything was going to work out,” Amajha, who is now 27 years old, reflects “I was scared to tell my parents, and just to see how my life was going to change.”

Amajha found the courage she needed to tell her mother and father, Tim and Cynthia. With her parents’ support firmly in place, the three of them began figuring out how to put the best plan in place for everyone involved.

For Amajha and her family, there was only one choice regarding her pregnancy: adoption. While this was never in question, finding the right organization to lead them through the journey ahead was an unknown.

The answers would begin to fall in place once they discovered Christian Adoption Services (CAS). CAS is the adoption ministry of Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina. The staff works closely with expectant parents and with those who are already parenting and have decided to place their unborn baby or child for adoption.

Amajha made a phone call and was able to connect with Sheryl Naylor, CAS Senior Director of Domestic Adoption.

“She was just so amazing, even though I was scared in my own little thoughts,” Amajha recalls. “Ms. Sheryl held my hand and my family’s hand.”

That conversation gave Amajha and her family the comfort and confidence that they needed.

“They gave us the Word and gave me wisdom,” she continues. “That’s how I knew that this is exactly the agency where I wanted to place my baby.”

Fifteen-year-old Amajha and her parents were encouraged by their connection with CAS and conversation with Sheryl. Part of CAS’s compassionate process is to walk alongside the expectant mother and empower her to have input in the adoption plan.

Having that input means expectant mothers, like Amajha, can choose the adoptive family for their unborn child from CAS’s pool of thoroughly vetted prospective adoptive families.

CAS team members work with the prospective Christian husbands and wives who desire to adopt and provide a Christ-centered home to a child or children. These “waiting families”, as they’re known, create profiles—a collection of information and photos about themselves—that are available to expectant mothers and families.

Among the many profiles Amajha saw, one family in particular stood out—the Eisengas.

The Eisengas were one of the few out-of-state families CAS was working with at the time. Chad and Stacia lived in Iowa with their biological son and daughter.

“With the distance between us, we had the opportunity to meet Amajha and her parents through FaceTime.” Stacia recalls about their first conversation in 2017. “The match between us was complete.”

As Amajha’s July 2, 2017 due date approached, Chad and Stacia flew into NC to be close. When Amajha went past the date, it gave them all time together.

“The night before she was induced, we got to all have dinner together which was beautiful,” Stacia says.

The following day, Stacia was invited to be in the delivery room when Amajha gave birth to son, Dax.

“To be able to support her during the delivery as well as just to see Dax take his first breath was priceless,” Stacia shares. “I don’t think there was anything that could prepare me for the beauty of that moment. And then, to give her the time—just the two of them—so they could bond was so important.”

The families agreed to an open adoption plan. This is an adoption arrangement in which the birth parent(s) and adoptive family have an agreed-upon level of communication and relationship with one another after the adoption is finalized. This can include things such as exchanging letters, photos, or updates, phone or video calls, and—when everyone agrees—in-person visits.

Since then, the Eisengas have returned to Iowa with Dax and settled into their life. The two families have not only remained in contact, but Chad and Stacia flew Amajha to Iowa for Dax’s first birthday.

“He was obviously very young, but when she came to visit you saw that they just had this bond,” Chad shares. “They hadn’t seen each other in person since Dax was born, but they had this immediate connection. You could see his heart understood their bond.”

Since that visit, Amajha and her parents have traveled to Iowa and the Eisenga family has visited them in North Carolina. The distance between the Slades and Eisengas may present a unique challenge, but there is a more meaningful dynamic that has risen to the surface.

“We are an African American family, and I placed my son with a white family,” Amajha says. “We are so grateful for this open adoption because you learn that you really don’t see color—they took in my son and gave him a life that I could not give him.”

Tim admits that he was initially against open adoption. Sheryl, with CAS, was able to alleviate his concerns and help Tim understand why it was important for his daughter to make the decision. Today, Tim’s perspective is completely different.

“I consider them like blood family,” he says. “We’ve spent time together—both when they came here and when we went up there—and we have become family.”

Sheryl has stayed in contact with the families, and Amajha has attended many of the CAS Birth Mothers Retreats, a special weekend that offers birth mothers a time of encouragement especially spiritually. Throughout the years, Sheryl has seen Amajha graduate college and become a young professional.

“I’ve seen her come out of her shell and tell her story,” Sheryl beams. “The retreat has really helped her, and she wants to share her story in order to help the next girl who needs to hear it and experience her own healing.”

Today, Amajha clearly sees that the Lord was walking before her from the very beginning.

“That 15-year-old didn’t know the plan God had for her life,” Amajha concludes. “God has been at work in my life and in this journey. It’s put me in a place of gratitude knowing that all of this has been His doing.”

Written by Blake Ragsdale, Editor-in-Chief  of Charity & Children