Foster Care: Hard and Heartbreaking—Yet Worth It (4 ways to faithfully engage foster care)

By Nancy Osborne | Chief Program Officer

What changes for us when we choose to see foster care through the eyes of a child— a child who has been removed from their family of origin, often separated from siblings, and this taking place without his or her consent or understanding? Does that perspective reshape how we respond? As Christians, do we always play the pivotal role in seeing someone’s life changed by the gospel, or do we sometimes only have a temporary, finite amount of time to speak into their lives?

Foster parents have an incredible opportunity to change the story in a child’s life, to have impact on that child’s siblings and parents, and to build trusting relationships with overworked and overburdened state caseworkers. And they absolutely do become attached. They absolutely walk through the heartbreak of learning more about a child’s story as trust begins to build. They must balance the chaos of broken systems (so many systems!) within the greater context of our broken world. And they often journey through the emotional reality of reunification plans, sudden kinship placements, or unexpected legal decisions. It’s part of the journey. It’s the emotional roller coaster of serving the Lord in a very specific way.

As we consider many of the hard or difficult things that come our way as believers, we should remember the ultimate perspective. When serving the Lord and walking in obedience to His calling, we can confidently say that it is worth it. There are seasons in our lives that are heartbreaking, yet vital to endure—and ultimately to give the Lord His due for how He worked in and through us. Ministry is rarely easy. It is often heartbreaking. But living out the gospel is always worth it.

Similar to missionaries, foster parents require specialized training and ongoing support. They are asked to walk into unknown—and sometimes hostile—situations, all while representing Christ within secular worlds and systems. Foster parents are local missionaries, called to have a lasting impact on their neighbors and communities for the sake of Jesus. The lives of gospel-driven foster parents reflect mission work lived out inside their homes.

As we highlight National Foster Care Month, here are some practical ways to engage:

Four ways to faithfully engage foster care:

1. Encourage the Foster Parents Around You. There are many ways to encourage and care for foster parents in your circle. Some are simple: encouraging texts, prayer support, or virtual gift cards for meals or essentials. Even though foster parents receive board rates, payments from the county or state to help the family cover basic costs for caring for a child placed in their home, those funds are truly never enough. You might offer help with laundry or lawn care. Find a way that works for you or leverages your God-given gifts to be a blessing.
   

2. Ask God to Give You Clarity About Becoming a Foster Family. If you are praying through the possibility of becoming a foster parent but still facing fears—including the fear of attachment—begin seeking the Lord and adopting a new perspective about this calling. Jason Johnson, in Reframing Foster Care, calls it missional discipleship. In Chosen, Andrew Hopper writes that “foster parents are not doing a ‘side ministry’ of the church—they are living on mission in ordinary life.” This is an incredible mission field with countless opportunities to serve the Lord.
   

3. Foster Parent, Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help. For foster families who feel overburdened and overwhelmed, remain steadfast—we need you on the mission field if you are able. Foster homes are declining across the U.S., while the needs continue to grow. Asking for help can be difficult, but often other believers are simply waiting to be asked. Many would be honored to support you if you allow space and make your needs known. Reach out to your church’s foster care or orphan care ministry. If your church does not have one, contact Baptist Children’s Homes. We can connect you to resources in your area and help equip your church.
   

4. Be a Voice and Share the Need. Be a champion for foster care in your circles of influence. Help reframe language, dispel myths, and communicate the urgency of the needs. Spread the word. Convey the reality. There are roughly 11,000 children in care in this state, with only about 5,500 licensed foster homes. BCH is ready to partner with many more local missionaries.