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Call Me When You Get There

My cell phone rings. It’s late Friday evening. I’m attempting to watch television as I nod back and forth between being awake and being asleep. I keep my cell phone with me just in case my daughters call while they are out.

The cell phone rings again, and the clouds of drowsiness lift. “Hey Mary, are you okay?” “Yes sir,” she assures me. “The movie just ended, and we are leaving. I’ll be home in about 30 minutes.”

“Thanks for calling,” I reply. “I love you.”

“I love you, Daddy,” she says.

Each of our children tells us that their friends think its “cute” that they call us while they are away from home. Dates, band trips, trips to the mall with girlfriends. . .“If you are away from home, keep in touch!” It’s our mantra.

By some standards, my wife Kathy and I would be considered strict. And I am okay with that, especially when it comes to the well being of my children.

At first it was a rule, but the girls now realize that it is less about us checking up on them or trusting them. It is about the consideration that we share because we love each other. It helps us all not worry so much. It’s important to be connected if there is an emergency. My daughters all have cell phones, even though I resisted for as long I could. But I didn’t add them to our cell plan for their benefit. I didn’t succumb to their desire to be connected to friends 24 hours a day. And I didn’t add text features until I realized I could not prevent all of their friends texting them and costing a small fortune each month.

No, my daughters all have cell phones so Kathy and I can be in touch them anywhere and at anytime.

Mary’s band leaves school at 6:30 a.m. and departs on buses for this week’s band competition. Usually the event is no more than a couple of hours away, but this week, the band is competing in a prestigious competition in Tennessee.

Before she says her last goodbye, I remind her again: “Call me when you get there.” We also review the other times that day she will call.

“Yes, sir, I will,” Mary commits, rolling her eyes. It is only the third time we have reviewed the calls during the short ride to her high school.

Kathy and I plan to attend the Tennessee competition, too. We leave later in the morning. Driving along the interstate, my cell phone rings. It’s not Mary; it’s our oldest daughter Amie. Amie stayed home. She had plans and decided not to make the trip with us.

“I hadn’t heard from you in a while,” she says. “How is the trip?”

“We’re fine,” Kathy replies. “The fall leaves are beautiful.”

Kathy and Amie continue their conversation. And I remember a call from Amie nearly four years ago. She was calling with her cell phone.

“Daddy, I’m okay,” she said through muffled sobs, “but I’ve been in an accident...”

Kathy and I have cell phones so our daughters can reach us anywhere and at anytime.

At a time when Kathy and I are more and more suited to quiet afternoons sitting, drinking cups of coffee and recalling the past, our daughters are moving forward into the future. The test of our family ties remains in the days ahead as their lives take on more and more independence.

Journeys and new destinations are inevitable. But distance created by space and time can be bridged by one’s desire to remain in touch. Staying in contact is not a burden, but it becomes an expression of love.

As my daughters step boldly into their future lives, you can count on me continuing to remind them: Call me when you get there!

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