Stories: Homeword

It's Hard, But We're Adjusting

I’m planning to build a shed in my backyard. I’m calling it a shed, but when my wife Kathy and I discuss how we will use the space, the dimensions grow.

What first began as a place to store the mower and a few yard tools has turned into a building large enough to have a porch – and a swing.

Oh well, if you are planning, you might as well plan big. It’s the building of the “shed” that will dictate just how “big” and how “elaborate.”

I’ve started by listing on a page the supplies needed to begin construction. I’ll need concrete pads and pier blocks for the foundation. Two by sixes for joists, two by fours for braces to frame the floor, and plywood to walk on are necessary.

We need additional two by fours to frame the walls, siding and possibly insulation. And then there are rafters to be built and additional plywood to make the roof.

It’s a good thing that the building is being built in my backyard. The supplies are close enough for me to keep a watchful eye. When it rains, I will make sure they remain covered to prevent water damage. If someone is bold enough to bother the materials, we will be able to intervene, contact authorities and protect our belongings.

If I feel like working on the project early in the morning or late in the afternoon, I walk outside and begin working. It doesn’t matter, because I’m close by.

It makes it easy!

The phone rings. It’s our college freshman Jenny.

“I’m tired, Daddy,” she says. “Yesterday was difficult. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.” I listen as she tells me about the injustice of the downpour that dampened not only clothes, textbooks and shoes but also her spirit.

Including the week she went early for band camp, Jenny has been away for three weeks. It’s been a whirlwind.

She is a color guard member in the band, and the school’s first football game is Saturday night. Even though this is a holiday weekend, she will not be able to come home until late Saturday evening.

All of this translates into long days and short nights.

Phone calls and emails are keeping Kathy and me informed about her days – highs and lows. But it was easier when she was at home – close by.

It was easier for her because we demanded that she stop, go to bed and catch up on her rest on the weekends. It was easier for us because we could keep a watchful eye. We studied her comings and goings. Our encouragement or direction was instantaneous – a smile, a hug or an encouraging word.

But she is adjusting. She is fine-tuning her time management to include classes, band practice, study time, and recreation.

We are adjusting as well.

Jenny is our third child to go off to college. I have learned many things from Kyle’s and Amie’s experiences.

First, even if you believe they are ready and prepared for college, do not cut your ties too soon. Even if they assert that they are ready for you to back off, linger on the sidelines. Act like you’re not paying attention if needed, but keep watch.

Second, listen more than you talk. It’s difficult, so practice!

Third, believe in your child. Love unconditionally!

And most of all, trust God. He loves your son or daughter more than you do.

When our children were born, Kathy and I committed them in faith to the Lord. It wasn’t just for their childhood, but for always. It is a belief He will keep them – for now and eternity!

I plan for my shed to remain in my backyard where I build it. The children’s lives we help to build extend beyond our reach. I have to say, shed building seems easier!

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